Orcs
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| Orc | |
|---|---|
 Waaagh! or nuffin’! |
|
| Founding | |
| Founded | They were here before anyone else and they’ll be here after everyone else is dead |
| Founder | Gork and Mork (probably by headbutting each other) |
| Current Leader | Whoever’s biggest right now (currently Grimgor Ironhide) |
| Geography | |
| Capital | Wherever da biggest Waaagh! is camped tonight |
| Major Cities | Black Crag, Mount Bloodhorn, Thunder Mountain, Karak Eight Peaks (half ours) |
| Regions | Badlands, Dark Lands, everywhere the ground looks good for stompin’ |
| Biology | |
| Lifespan | As long as they keep fightin’ (most don’t make it past thirty winters anyway) |
| Height | 180-230 cm (5′11″ - 7′6″); bigger is always better |
| Culture | |
| Language | Orcish (lots of shouting, very few words longer than two syllables) |
| Religion | Gork (brutal but kunnin’) and Mork (kunnin’ but brutal) |
| Government | |
| Government | Biggest fist rules. Simple. |
| Relations | |
| Allies | Nobody. Allies are just enemies you ain’t krumped yet. |
| Enemies | Everyone else (especially stunties, poncy elves, and anyone with shiny stuff) |
Orcs are big, green, and built for one thing: fightin’. They don’t farm, they don’t trade, they don’t think about tomorrow. They just grow out of the ground when enough of ’em have died nearby, grab the nearest choppa, and start lookin’ for somethin’ to smash. When enough of them get together, the Waaagh! starts: a tidal wave of green muscle, bad tempers, and ramshackle war machines that rolls over everything until it finally smashes into something hard enough to stop it (usually a mountain, or Grimgor).
Overview
If you want to play a walking natural disaster who solves every problem by hitting it very hard and shouting “WAAAGH!” until the problem stops moving, congratulations, you’re an Orc.
Appearance
Green skin thick as old leather, muscles like sacks of cannonballs, shoulders wider than a wagon. Tusks the size of daggers, red piggy eyes, and a grin that says “I’m gonna enjoy this”. Armour is whatever they looted last, bolted together with nails and hope. Black Orcs wear proper heavy black plate and look like walking siege engines.
Culture & Society
- Regions: Anywhere there’s fighting to be had.
- Culture: Might makes right. Everything else is for goblins.
- Names: Grimgor, Gorbad, Azhag, Urgok, Skarsnik (he’s a goblin but we let him think he’s important).
- Religion: Gork and Mork. One smashes ya face in, the other smashes ya from behind. Perfect.
Relations with Other Races
- Goblins - Neutral/Hostile (useful, squishy, good at runnin’ away first)
- Snotlings - Friendly (they’re like mushrooms with legs)
- Everyone else - Hostile (good fer krumpin’)
- Chaos Corruption - Resistant (daemons are just more stuff to fight)
- Slavery - Allowed (we call it “bossin’ smaller gits around”)
Strengths & Weaknesses
- Strengths: Never stop coming, hit like a cannonball, get stronger the more of them there are.
- Weaknesses: Thick as two short planks, fight each other when no one else is around, planning further than “charge!” is impossible.
Playing an Orc
You don’t have an inner monologue, you have an outer monologue and it’s always loud. Speech is simple: “Dis is mine now”, “Dat looks fighty”, “WAAAGH!”. Problems are solved with choppas, bigger choppas, or two choppas. If something isn’t fun to fight, it’s boring and needs smashing until it becomes fun. A Warboss leads by being the biggest and meanest; a Shaman just shouts at Gork and Mork until lightning happens.
Physical Appearance
Imagine a gorilla that ate nothing but violence and grew tusks. Now paint it green and give it a bad attitude. That’s the small one.
Notable Ranks & Careers
Snotling → Goblin → Boy → Big ’Un → Boss → Warboss → Legend (or dead, same thing)